Daddy Warbucks

One of the best things about living in Fayetteville is that people can complain, gripe and bitch.
Well here goes.
The Razorback mascot logo at the intersection of University Avenue and Dickson Street is a disgrace.
The Red Hog has never been red for very long. The street wear on the entire thing now has it a dirty black color. It is a disgrace right there near the vaunted steps to the campus front yard — Old Main’s greenspace.
A sharp-eyed viewer watching that professional team from TUSK-KA-LOOSA quickly pointed out in that sad excuse for a college town in northwestern Alabama, there was a copycat street emblem of the script “A” Bamaniacs are so proud to wear on everything from formal wedding gowns to the bride’s tush. The background for the red “A” is a cream color and the emblem is painted in the middle of the street. And it looks great.
Too bad the Hog looks so bad.
Please someone, do something. Do it now.
Wooo Pig please clean up that Razorback intersection.

• • •

Uh, oh, here we go — again.
Do any of the “tree people” in Fayetteville care about these new “Franken trees” that are popping up all across the South? Seems a coalition of International Paper of Memphis, Mead/Wesvo Corp. and some New Zealand — Yep, that nation that is on the backside of the world — company called Rubicon Inc. are developing some genetically modified trees. These new trees are a hybrid of eucalyptus that grow faster, stronger and make more paper (A-ha!).
Therein lies the reason. One has to wonder do the “tree folks” here care? Are we ready for another invasion of the Jim Lindsey Bradford Pear tree to reclaim Fayetteville’s landscape?
Oh, Mary where are you now?

• • •

Now here is a winner: bacon jerky! (To be found, where else but Walmart?)
Let that sink in for a minute,
Jerky … made from bacon. Do the taste buds begin to dance? Are grown men starting to drool? Well, that’s what the folks at Monogram Foods hope is in their future.
The bacon jerky is sold under the names of Trail’s Best and other private label names. It is just Beggin’ Strips for men.
Right here at your local Walmart.

• • •

Ah, those clever folks at the Compton Gardens. A beautiful invitation came in the mail inviting Daddy W. It said “The Peel Compton Foundation Board of Directors requests your presence at the Annual Christmas Gala on Saturday, Dec. 3, 2011.”
Wow, Daddy W. will press his tux and shine up those ebony alligators for this shindig.
It goes on to talk about bubbly champagne and sumptuous pass-arounds.
Then they get down to business. “Tickets are $100 per person …” the invitation reads, and it goes up in cost from there.
What a scam. Col. and Congressman Peel would be upset. The late Dr. Compton, seeing this didn’t go to save a river, would be less a gentleman about his words.

• • •

Did Daddy see a sign for a new painting company in Northwest Arkansas? How about one led by the National Championship point guard Corey Beck?
Well, there is a company bearing his name and also bearing witness to the 1994 National Championship basketball Razorbacks.
Does Jeff Long know about this use of the Hog moniker in a business? Uh-oh.

Categories: Features