By Rachel Birdsell South Carolina Republican Mark Sanford, not to be confused with Fred Sanford, defeated Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch in a special election to determine who would fill a vacant seat in the U.S. House. If you remember, Marky Mark is the one who took his funky bunch down south so he could get…
By Rachel Birdsell It’s been three years since the BP oil spill. Three years since we were all glued to the news waiting for the word that the leak had finally been capped. Three years since we watched in horror as animals washed to shore covered in muck. And how many times have we seen…
By Rachel Birdsell Quick! For $1,000 in fake cash, name the first thing that pops into your head when I ask you to say a word that makes you uncomfortable. If you didn’t yell out the word “vagina,” I’m sorry, but you lose this round. The reason that vagina is the winning word is that…
By Rachel Birdsell I’ve been thinking about specialists a lot, lately. Specialists take a field of study, narrow it down to a particular branch, then climb out to the end of that branch and pick a leaf they fancy. They take that leaf and turn it over, upside down and then back again, and they…
By Rachel Birdsell I recently read an article that touched on a very important subject, and one that needs to be addressed. The author of the article used roughly 2,000 words to venomously spit out how much he detests, and wants to eradicate email sign-offs. What I concluded from his ranting is that he gets…
By Rachel Birdsell I have a phrase I use when someone is losing their mind over something that isn’t worth losing their mind over. I call it “doing the muppet.” If you want to do the muppet, all you have to do is flail your arms wildly over your head, scream a lot about the…
By Rachel Birdsell When I was young and spending more time in a church pew than was necessary, I learned that Jesus commanded his followers to eat his flesh and drink his blood. I always thought it was pretty creepy, and having it explained that Jesus meant it symbolically didn’t make it any less creepy….
By Rachel Birdsell I received an email today from moveon.org member, Angelo Carusone. Mr. Carusone started a petition last year to boycott Macy’s until they stopped carrying Donald Trump’s 100 percent America-made clothing that is made in China. I know it’s confusing as to how something can be American made when the labels clearly read,…
By Rachel Birdsell Glory hallelujah, praise be and a multitude of other worshipful interjections! We’ve had a miracle. According to some people, who I’m sure are experts in their fields, it happened the other day when God struck St. Peter’s Basilica with lightning the exact same day that Pope Benedict decided to renounce his Popeablilty….
We don’t know a lot about St. Valentine, but thanks to hours of mind-numbing research and the ability to make up stuff,