By Matt Dekinder Contributing TFW Writer After watching what is now the fourth (!) “Twilight” movie I now know how Bond must have felt when he faced off against Blofeld, or Sherlock Holmes when he matched wits with Professor Moriarty. “Well hello my old nemesis, we meet again.” Look, by this point the penultimate…
By Matt DeKinder Contributing TFW Writer “Real Steel” is way better than it has any right to be. I mean, it’s a movie about boxing robots for Pete’s sake! Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots were fun, but they weren’t that fun. Anyway, “Real Steel” earns its stripes by focusing more on the human element than…
“The Debt” is an example of a bungled movie. It has a fascinating premise and (for the most part) a solid cast, yet it stumbles in its execution and what could have been a taught little political thriller is instead an unwieldy clunker that at times borders on self-parody. Because of my sunny disposition, I’ll…
It’s a dash of “Mythbusters” and a dabble of “Deadliest Warrior,” but it’s whole lot of fun and adrenaline for fans of the undead hordes … well, fans of bashing their rotting brains in.
“Battle: Los Angeles” is a war movie, pure and simple. It features virtually every convention of the genre and cribs from the battalions of war movies that came before.
It was then that our brave, little movie critic had enough and stood and shouted into the darkness, “’Red Riding Hood,’ what horrible plotting you have.” “The better to bore you with, my dear,” it replied.
If I were to break out my Clever Movie Critic’s Big Book of Witticisms, I would use it to describe “The Adjustment Bureau” as “The Matrix: A Love Story,” leave the review at that and spend the rest of the day in Margaritaville.
I guess the best way to describe “Rango” is to imagine taking four-parts Spaghetti Western, one-part “The Lion King,” two-parts “Chinatown” and three-parts “Blazing Saddles”; dumping it all in a blender and pressing “puree.”
Completely ignoring our personal history of lonely nights, this hunk of gray matter convinces us that were we to suddenly find ourselves single we would need a moat and several hundred teargas grenades to fend of the hordes of single women that would be beating down our door.
Oscar Bingo — just like the real thing, only without the tumbling ball machine or the letters B, I, N or G.