It was then that our brave, little movie critic had enough and stood and shouted into the darkness, “’Red Riding Hood,’ what horrible plotting you have.” “The better to bore you with, my dear,” it replied.
If I were to break out my Clever Movie Critic’s Big Book of Witticisms, I would use it to describe “The Adjustment Bureau” as “The Matrix: A Love Story,” leave the review at that and spend the rest of the day in Margaritaville.
I guess the best way to describe “Rango” is to imagine taking four-parts Spaghetti Western, one-part “The Lion King,” two-parts “Chinatown” and three-parts “Blazing Saddles”; dumping it all in a blender and pressing “puree.”
Completely ignoring our personal history of lonely nights, this hunk of gray matter convinces us that were we to suddenly find ourselves single we would need a moat and several hundred teargas grenades to fend of the hordes of single women that would be beating down our door.
Oscar Bingo — just like the real thing, only without the tumbling ball machine or the letters B, I, N or G.
If Oscar bingo isn’t your thing, how about a friendly Oscar night drinking game with compadres and acquaintances?
Movie dorks like myself live for this time of year because it validates one of our favorite pastimes — arguing about movies.
Tim Lippe is a rube of the highest order. He lives in the small town of Brown Valley, works for Brown Star Insurance and dates his old sixth-grade teacher.
Liam Neeson has stumbled onto a title not usually acquired by men in their late 50s: Action Hero. With the surprise hit “Taken,” Neeson became a dogged, blood-splattering force for good.
The success of an Adam Sandler movie now depends on the zaniness of the script and the energy of the movie is dependant on Sandler’s co-stars. All of this has culminated in the low-water mark of the Sandler era with “Just Go With It,” a movie that is never offensively bad, just overwhelmingly bad.