Yesterday, on the phone with my boyfriend, I had to ask him to repeat something he’d just said because I’d become briefly mesmerized by a big fern shimmying in the breeze. No, sadly, I wasn’t all “Sorry, I missed that bit because my couch caught fire.” The man was competing for my attention with a plant.
There are many people who cross ethical lines at work, but most of them just do it by taking home Post-its or a stapler.
There’s that saying, “You are what you eat.” Apparently, your girlfriend ate a supermodel.
Welcome to Moral High Ground, population: you. Wow, so that’s your real weight on your driver’s license?
Being compatible with somebody doesn’t mean you’re like them in all ways.
If women truly prioritized men’s looks like you say, Victoria’s Secret would be raking in the bucks with a companion chain of sexy undies stores for men.
Can you “make a go” of this relationship? Of course you can! Before you know it, you’ll be booking one of those romantic weekend getaway packages to try to rekindle that magical indifference you felt at the start.
She doesn’t trust them down there in the spare room? What will they do, get on the landline and make prank calls to Taiwan?
That used Q-tip is only a collectible if he used to be Elvis.
Surely, you wouldn’t find the bunny-hugging vegan “shallow” for not being up for the long haul with the guy who electrocutes the cows.