Strange how nobody ever manages to shoot video when there’s an alien spaceship in the vicinity — perhaps because they’re too busy recording that guy, two traffic lanes over, who’s picking his nose.
When men say they “love surprises,” they mean the sort involving an impromptu striptease, not where you wait till the sixth date to tell them that, no, that child seat actually isn’t for your terrier.
Endlessly replaying the memories of how perfect your ex was is a great idea — if you’re looking to grow old with a tube sock and a vat of lotion.
Your husband comes into the living room, and there you are — sitting on the floor with a Starbucks cup and a cardboard sign that says, “Anything helps. God bless.”
The way you see it, your friend found that mythical leprechaun with the pot of private jets and beachfront property — and she was all, “Too short! Too green! NEXT!”
I’m a woman who’s on the feminist dating app Bumble, where women have to make the first move. Men can only write back to women who message them. I thought this would be empowering, but even pursuing a guy in this small way feels unsexy and overly aggressive. Do I just need to get over…
We all appreciate a nice view, but your eyes might be lingering a bit long in the wrong places if you hear stuff like “Sir…are you ready for my areolas to take your order?”
There’s being cuddly at the supermarket, and then there’s being cuddly in a way that says, “We usually do this with whipped cream.”
I dress like a tomboy: jeans, T-shirts, hoodies, and work boots. My boyfriend of a year wants me to wear skirts and dresses more often. Nothing trashy. Just not my usual tomboy wear. This weekend, I wore a sundress to brunch. It made him so happy, and he kept telling me how beautiful I looked….
Why not take this to the next level and get an inflatable girlfriend? You wouldn’t need to feed her, and you could save big on travel if you’d just let the air out of her, fold her up, and stuff her in your carry-on.