When a man disappears on you after a great first date, it’s natural to search your mind for the most plausible explanation — that is, whichever one doesn’t shred your ego and feed it to your fish.
When you date a “bad boy,” there are always adjustments to be made, like getting adjusted to how he’s sleeping with three of your friends.
There’s no such thing as a one-night friendship, and for good reason — because friendship is based on trust, fondness, and mutual respect, not on how the other person’s butt fills out a pair of pants.
You know you’ll feel bad when you check his Facebook and Twitter, yet you keep doing it.
There are times it makes sense to chase a man, like if he’s wearing Lycra knickers and making a dash for the end zone or he’s just run out of your house with your TV.
There comes a point in the day of a brainy person when she’s about a half step from being entertained by cat toys.
My girlfriend says she likes that I’m smart but says I can be “on” too much of the time. For example, if someone pronounces a word wrong or uses it incorrectly, I’ll correct them. If they talk about their fad diet, I’ll explain why it doesn’t make scientific sense. My girlfriend says I am “condescending”…
Your boyfriend’s just lucky nobody’s suspected he’s lying about what he’s read and tried to trip him up — maybe with “It’s like Heathcliff wandering the moors searching for Cathy after she was abducted by aliens!” or “What a relief when Romeo rushed Juliet to the hospital and they pumped her stomach!”
If you aren’t European or a hipster married to another hipster, it’s a little dismaying when your husband’s new ride looks like it came in a pink package marked “Barbie doll sold separately.”
On the success-in-crime scale, this is like getting picked up by the cops for bank robbery — because the bank manager spotted you making off with that pen on a chain.