We all appreciate a nice view, but your eyes might be lingering a bit long in the wrong places if you hear stuff like “Sir…are you ready for my areolas to take your order?”
There’s being cuddly at the supermarket, and then there’s being cuddly in a way that says, “We usually do this with whipped cream.”
I dress like a tomboy: jeans, T-shirts, hoodies, and work boots. My boyfriend of a year wants me to wear skirts and dresses more often. Nothing trashy. Just not my usual tomboy wear. This weekend, I wore a sundress to brunch. It made him so happy, and he kept telling me how beautiful I looked….
Why not take this to the next level and get an inflatable girlfriend? You wouldn’t need to feed her, and you could save big on travel if you’d just let the air out of her, fold her up, and stuff her in your carry-on.
Four months ago, I started hooking up with this hot guy I met on Tinder. He isn’t someone I’d normally go for; he’s a total mess and serious trouble. He always made me come to his place, and I always left feeling gross rather than satisfied. However, about once a month, I’d feel attached and…
Yesterday, on the phone with my boyfriend, I had to ask him to repeat something he’d just said because I’d become briefly mesmerized by a big fern shimmying in the breeze. No, sadly, I wasn’t all “Sorry, I missed that bit because my couch caught fire.” The man was competing for my attention with a plant.
There are many people who cross ethical lines at work, but most of them just do it by taking home Post-its or a stapler.
There’s that saying, “You are what you eat.” Apparently, your girlfriend ate a supermodel.
Welcome to Moral High Ground, population: you. Wow, so that’s your real weight on your driver’s license?
Being compatible with somebody doesn’t mean you’re like them in all ways.