If you do want more from the relationship, you may be able to get it, but expecting a man to read your thoughts is like expecting your dog to understand algebra.

In addition to his being an experienced 34 to your inexperienced 18, he’s also French. If there’s a French national sport, it’s probably seduction.

After a certain point — the French tactfully call it “un certain age” — a woman’s birthday tends to come but once every two or three years.

Instead of just sending regrets, it’s tempting to passive-aggressively express your resentment: “Unfortunately, I have a conflict — in that I have to make my car payment.”

On dating sites, where the face-to-face embarrassment of overstepping the bounds of reality has been removed, 70-something men are hitting on 30-something women as fast as their wrinkly fingers can hit “send.”

Unless your girlfriend’s name is Moses and she’s just come back from a mountaintop chat with God, she doesn’t get to hand down commandments: “You look at some other woman’s woohoobies and I’ll ask The Big Guy to smite you.”

When you read a book about the horrible chemical weapons used in World War I, you shouldn’t think, “Hey, that reminds me of kissing my girlfriend.”

We all dream of finding that special someone to pay the cable bill.

Should I give her some leeway on this?

Facebook is complicated.