By Rachel Birdsell
If you’ve watched or read any news lately, you’ve no doubt read about various open carry groups around the country staging demonstrations. Most of these demonstrations have been in Texas which doesn’t even slightly surprise me. The demonstrations have consisted of groups of mostly white men with open carry permits simultaneously exercising their rights to carry their weapon of choice openly, wearing ensembles that would make Joe Dirt weep with jealousy, and being colossal dumbasses, all at the same time. They’re multi-taskers. These groups of walking and bulleted brain trusts have been carrying guns into places such as Target, Chili’s, Chipotle, Jack in the Box, Sonic and Starbucks. You know, the usual places where you wouldn’t be alarmed at the sight of a group of men carrying AK47s.
So, why are these open carry groups demonstrating? Why do they feel the need to show their firearms in public? If I had to guess, I’d say it was because it makes them feel powerful in what must be a quite impotent life. The gun owners say they’re demonstrating because it’s their constitutional right and God and America and patriot and all you sonsabitches that don’t like it can suck on their ridiculously long barrels.
Or something like that.
Yes, gun owners with open carry permits. We get that you’re allowed to do exactly what you’re doing. But, there are a lot of us that think what you’re doing is way past stupid. How are we supposed to know that when you walk into Target with a gun that we aren’t going to be the victims of, yet, another mass shooting? And, how are you supposed to know that someone who doesn’t know what the hell you’re doing won’t have a concealed weapon that he or she proceeds to pull out and use on you? Before you know it bullets are flying and innocent people are being killed all because you need Viagra, are just a power-hungry a-hole, or more than likely both.
I don’t care what you do with your gun in the privacy of your home. Take it out. Stroke it. Whisper softly against the muzzle. Whatever trips your trigger, Pistol Pete. But, there’s no reason for you to walk into Jack in the Box with a gun slung over your shoulder. I promise there isn’t. No one is coming after your gun. President Obama has been in office for 6 years and you still have your precious, don’t you? Yes, there are some of us that want stricter gun laws. But, do you know why we want them? One reason is so that people with mental illnesses aren’t allowed to buy guns. On second thought, maybe you do have something to worry about, because I’m not sure that scaring the poo out of people at fast food restaurants is entirely sane. So, how about you jackholes knock it off? It’s a win-win situation if you do. We sane members of society will be able to enjoy our burrito bowls without fear of being shot, and you won’t be branded as an impotent, power-drunk, gun-toting turdmonkeys.
Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer and artist. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org