No Gay, Jose

Posted by tbaker |

By Rachel Birdsell

Illustrious Governor of Arizona, Jan Brewer, came to her senses last month and vetoed the bill that would essentially allow business owners to discriminate against gay people if it went against their religious beliefs. I’m not sure that it’s entirely accurate to say that Jan came to her senses, because I’m not sure that it’s entirely accurate to say that she has any sense. I think she only decided to veto the bill after Donald Trump tweeted that she should since discriminating against homosexuals was wrong. Even Jan knows that if you have Orange Glow on the rational side of crazy, the insanity must be to the moon.

Five more states, Georgia, Idaho, Mississippi, Missouri and Oklahoma, are struggling with their own varieties of the “Let’s Discriminate Because We’re Assholes” bill, which probably isn’t the legal name, but I’m pretty sure it’s the working title. While all five bills have different names, the one phrase that is consistent in them all is religious freedom. As far as I can tell there is still more religious freedom in the U.S. than you can shake a King James Bible at. So, even though it isn’t threatened even slightly, legislators know that by putting the phrase religious freedom in the bill, their constituents will support it, because the scary, commie liberals want to burn their Bibles and turn their churches into brothels.

The fact is that that long-haired dude whom Christians are supposed to be following wouldn’t turn anyone away. There isn’t one story about Jesus refusing to heal or feed someone because they were gay. The only reason that there are people who want to be able to legally discriminate against gay people is because they think being gay is icky. And we all know that the legislators introducing these bills have Christianity in mind, so please don’t write and tell me I’m picking on Christians again.

I’m not sure how these business owners are going to be able to determine who is gay and who isn’t. Maybe the entire LGBTQ community will have to wear a huge letter on their clothing that corresponds to which letter of LGBTQ is applicable. Or possibly, these savvy, Christian store owners are able to pick out a gay person just by looking at them. But what happens when a store owner mistakenly discriminates against a straight person who only “looks” gay? Can the non-gay person who was discriminated against then sue the store owner for wrongful discrimination? And if these bills are going to include all religions, which they’ll have to, doesn’t this mean that a Muslim business owner can refuse service to anyone who eats pork?

Woohoo! That’s right, gay-bashing, bigoted, so-called Christians, the people you love to hate might smell a little BBQ from lunch on your breath and legally be able to refuse you service. I’m going to bet that there wouldn’t be much cheek-turning going on in that situation.

The thing is, if you think gay sex is a sin, don’t have gay sex. But, stop with the obsession with it. Some of you think about gay sex more than gay people do. If so, either come out of the closet or let it go. Stop hating people based on who they love. No matter what your religious belief, we should all be able to agree that this world needs a lot less discrimination, and a whole lot more love.

Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer and artist. You can reach her at



anna March 13, 2014 at 8:26 am

While I absolutely agree that no one should be discriminated against for any reason there are some instances where a business should be able to have some discretion on who they do business with.
I wouldn’t think a black cake shop owner should be forced to bake a birthday cake for a Klan leader decorated with white hoods and a burning cross candle. I don’t think a Jewish photographer should have to attend and photograph a skin head wedding where the bridal party is adorned with swastika arm bands. Should a gay caterer be compelled to cater an anti-gay rally? Can these people be sued because they refuse to do the job?
I don’t think the intention of the law as it was written in Arizona was to allow indiscriminate discrimination but to protect people from situations like these… from being forced to do something that they are morally opposed to doing.
And yes you are picking on Christians…again.

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Steve March 17, 2014 at 7:01 am

Damn Bob, I would hate to argue with you so I won’t, gay sex with 2 or more women is fine by me and I’m not offended by depictions of such. Gay males having sex is fine too, I don’t want to watch it but that’s what a remote is for or you can always choose a different website.

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Steve March 17, 2014 at 7:11 am

I love it, “Let’s discriminate because we’re assholes,” about sums it up. Anna, you’re hypothetical cake shop owner who is black can charge as much as he or she wants for their goods and services, so maybe something that typically costs $500 might be increased to $2500. Klan members claim to love free enterprise right.

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anna March 17, 2014 at 8:52 am

I wouldn’t know what Klan members claim to love Steve but any of the business owners mentioned could charge crazy prices to discourage those they don’t want to do business with.
That might work until they find out what other people were charged for the same service.
We as consumers can discriminate all day long as to who we will do business with. Why would you want to do business with someone you knew didn’t like you? Who knows what ingredients might end up in your wedding cake!

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