Commentary

The Non-Kinky Submission of D.J.

Posted by tbaker |

By Rachel Birdsell

Little D.J. Tanner from television’s Full House, who now insists on being called Candace Cameron Bure, has recently been speaking out about her role in her marriage. It would seem that even though she admits that she’s a strong woman, she also admits that she’s taken a submissive role in her marriage. At first I was all like, “Little D.J. turned out to be kinky!” but then I realized she didn’t mean submissive, as in her husband dressed in leather chaps with paddle in hand and tied her to the bed, but instead meant the biblical meaning of submission, which is more along the lines of letting your husband call all the shots.

She stated that, “In the biblical sense, submitting to my husband just means allowing my husband to lead his family because he loves our family, and making the best decisions for our family that he can.” But sometimes those decisions aren’t so great. No worries, though, because little D.J. just doesn’t give a shit. She said that even when her husband’s decisions were bad for the family, she still went along with them, smiling her very submissive smile. I’m not sure how long she’ll be able to keep up the submissive wife role. Lest anyone think she was a welcome mat, little D.J. explained that submission was “strength under control, it is bridled strength,” which to me sounds like “I bite my tongue a lot, and try not to bludgeon my husband in his sleep.”

But, don’t for a minute think that little D.J.’s husband is the one making her submit. She made it very clear that she chose it when she said, “I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work.”

So, she’s being someone she really isn’t, because supposedly it’s what makes her marriage good. Let me fill you in on something Deej. You know who the marriage is good for? Your husband. If you’re letting him make the decisions that affect you, and they’re bad decisions, there’s a big ol’ problem hanging out in the corner of the room and once that problem decides to rear its ugly head, there’s going to be some fur flying. Sadly, it won’t be off the furry handcuffs that you were just wearing.

I understand that there are some people who are natural followers. There is no alpha-ness to be found anywhere near them. So, they will unsurprisingly let someone else take the reins. And that’s all fine and dandy until they start allowing others to make decisions that affect their life. At that point, they’d better find at least a little alpha-ness and take part in the decision making.

The point of a relationship is that you’re both equal. You may have different strengths and weaknesses, but you’re supposed to work together to make the best use of those. No one should ever have to be someone they aren’t in order for a relationship to work. Because if you aren’t truly yourself in a relationship, then you’re lying to everyone, and the worst part is, you’re lying to yourself.

Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer, artist and semi-professional cat wrangler. You can reach her at rabirdsell@gmail.com

 

6 Comments

anna January 31, 2014 at 6:24 am

I love the advice from someone who is divorced, can’t find the “right” man to date and bashes men in general at every opportunity!
Who also touts that everyone has a right to live their life the way they see fit…unless of course you don’t agree with said lifestyle! You apparently have no clue of what she is talking about by your remarks but believe me if you have two heads of a household you will be in constant battle and end up like you are…old and single.
I’ll bet you money that Candice will be happily married for life because she is strong enough to let someone else lead.

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anna January 31, 2014 at 6:45 am

It’s important to note also that it’s imperative that you choose the right man to marry! A good man will ALWAYS put the well being of his family first, he will never make important decisions without consulting with his wife. In my case my husband would never make decisions that I don’t agree with, we are partners but he is the head of the household…38 years and counting!

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Steve February 1, 2014 at 4:31 pm

I laugh and laugh, Candace is “strong” yet she chooses to be submissive. It sounds like cognitive dissonance or maybe a lack of cognition and using a book written thousands of years ago by nothing but men, many men, to guide your life clearly indicates either willful brainwashing or limited brain function.

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anna February 3, 2014 at 8:07 am

Hey Rachel! Bigbob and Steve may be the kind of guys you’re looking for…unless they are gay or married of course. Oh but I forget that the married thing is not a problem, no regrets right?
They don’t appear to be the wearing of the pants in the family type but maybe they would adorn them as per your dating requirements request :)

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9224789 February 3, 2014 at 9:23 am

Ohhh boy more advise from someone who can’t hold a relationship together; THANKS RACHEL!!! Everyone here knows how successful you’ve been, and how truly tolerant you are as long as they meet your “beliefs”. My word, since you’ve been nothing but unsuccessful in life and love why don’t you stop bashing women and men who are happy in their marriage? But everything you do is to promote your agenda at any cost. What a worthless contribution once again.

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