By Rachel Birdsell
Scott Thomas, pastor of Brandon, Miss.’s, First Baptist Church, is one pissed off preacher man. Why so mad? Well, he is filled with righteous indignation because the godless planning commission in Brandon isn’t allowing him to erect a cross on church property. I’m guessing that the reason the commission is saying, “not on your life, bub” is probably less to do with it being a cross, and more to do with it being a 110-foot high, 18-ton cross that would require FAA approval.
Scott wanted to ensure that other Christians would jump on his bandwagon of righteous indignation, so he broke out the ‘M’ word. He stated that the city council wouldn’t allow his cross because they didn’t want to offend Muslims. What spineless bastards, eh? After hearing that, the Mayor of Brandon, Butch Lee, damn near broke his neck getting to the nearest news microphone to explain that the planning commission and city board are 100 percent Grade A, Born Again, Definitely Not Muslim, Completely and Without a Doubt God (not Allah) Fearing Christians. So, you see, it didn’t have anything to do with Islam. You know the real reason why Scott can’t have his cross? Because the local zoning laws in Brandon state that auxiliary structures can’t be any taller than 20 feet. There’s no more to it than that. But Scott wants special consideration taken, because he’s especially special.
After his 11-story cross got the thumbs down, Scott put on his pouty face and started a petition and a Facebook page (Cross at Brandon), so supporters across the world could come together and whine about how persecuted they are because the planning commission is kowtowing to Muslims and won’t allow a cross that’s big enough to see from space. Right on, Christians! This is persecution, plain and simple. It’s no different than people being killed for what they believe.
Or maybe it’s not even close to being persecution. Maybe Christians in the U.S. should be thankful for the freedom they have. They should be thankful that on Sunday morning they can freely drive to their place of worship. They can pray to their god whenever they want. They can even tell other people about their religion without fear of death. And as uncomfortable as it might be for them, they should study what real persecution is and they could start with the Spanish Inquisition.
While I’m telling Christians how not to be annoying buttheads, let me add that instead of dotting the landscape of our country with 110-foot torture devices, they should spend that money on helping the community. Instead of whining about not getting to erect their 110-foot crosses wherever they want, they should whine about how there are still hungry people in our country and then do something about it. In a nutshell, it would be great if they would actually start emulating that guy they’re supposed to be emulating. (Hint: He was a long-haired, liberal, hippie dude whose name rhymes with Jesus).
Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer and artist. You can drop her a line at firstname.lastname@example.org