If your wife says another man’s name while making love, what does that mean? It was her ex’s name — my stepson’s dad. She apologized, saying it was only because she remembered needing to call him about problems their son is having at school.
Although I don’t think she’s cheating, I can’t say I believe her excuse, as she compares me negatively with previous men in her life. Had I blurted out another woman’s name, she never would’ve forgiven me. I know she’s had men cheat on her, but I’ve given her no reason to doubt me.
Her response when I try to have a healthy discussion about this or anything is either “whatever” or calling me names and starting a full-blown argument, then suggesting we shouldn’t be together. That’s the last thing I want for our kids.
There you are, trying your best to give your wife an orgasmatastical time in bed, and not only does she belt out another man’s name, she decides to get a head start on her to-do list. Chances are, your wife’s explanation, that this was just a brain burp, is the truth. And people’s minds do wander during sex — especially when it’s not exactly their first time with a particular partner.
Although every relationship gives rise to wounds, slights and things you wish you could unhear, how you respond depends largely on what your “base” is — personally and as a couple. If you’re emotionally secure and your relationship is loving, you can shrug off a whole lot — maybe even tease your wife about her sexual faux pas.
When you get married, it isn’t just to a woman and all her annoying in-laws; you also marry all her unresolved issues.
Tell your wife that you need to remake your marriage to save it — because you love her and for your kids’ sake. You should bring in a therapist.
Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com (advicegoddess.com). Weekly radio show: blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon.