Stupid is as Stupid Does

Posted by admin |

By Rachel Birdsell
TFW Contributing Writer

Brock College in Ontario recently came out with a study that showed that people who scored low on childhood IQ tests were more likely to develop prejudiced beliefs and socially conservative political views as adults. The study, published in Psychological Science, has racists and social conservatives totally pissed off, and has liberals saying, “I told you so.” I’m surprised the Internet hasn’t exploded yet from all the hullabaloo.

I think we can agree that racists are idiots. OK, maybe some of them are fearful of other races and the fear is brought on by ignorance, but I think most racists are idiots.

However, social conservatives won’t agree with a scientific study because they refuse to accept anything “science.” So, let’s throw IQ tests out the window. Instead, let’s look at some of the beliefs that the majority of social conservatives accept as truth.

1. Jesus is No. 1. I’ll save why I think religious beliefs are ridiculous for another week. It’s obvious that the majority of conservatives are Christian. I think it’s deliciously ironic that as a general rule, liberals act and hold more of the same core beliefs of Jesus Christ than conservatives do. If there was a Jesus Christ living now, he’d be called a Communist, liberal hippie pig by the right.

2. EVILution. Why can’t conservatives just accept the theory of evolution? I still read people writing nonsense about there being no proof for evolution. There’s usually some mention about how it’s just a theory and then they ask a moronic question like why there are still monkeys around if we came from monkeys. Then I wonder if maybe they really did come from monkeys. It’s interesting how the least-evolved among us don’t accept the theory of evolution isn’t it? Do you think they accept the theory of gravity?

3. Climate Schlimate. There are some conservatives who have changed their mind about climate change and have gone from saying all of it is a lie to saying that the climate is changing, but it doesn’t have anything to do with people screwing up the earth. When you inform them that there is 35 percent more CO2 in the atmosphere than there was before the Industrial Revolution, they either claim it’s a lie perpetuated by the evil EPA, or that the increase is perfectly normal. Then they climb into their ginormous SUV and try to run all of the hybrids off the road.

4. Flaming Gays. Conservatives are against gay marriage. They were against repealing DADT, and would probably be a lot happier if those damn gays would just get the hell back in the closet and stay there. I’m still trying to figure out why they’re so concerned about what two consenting adults do sexually. Conservatives throw out arguments like, “If you let them gays marry, the next thing you know people will want to marry their dogs.” That’s not helping you look any smarter, Conservatives!

5. Amen, Brother. Conservatives are forever complaining about prayer being taken out of school. Prayer hasn’t been taken out of school. Students can still pray as much as they want, whenever they want. Just because teachers can’t say a Christian prayer out loud does not mean there is no prayer in schools.

6. Baby Killing. Conservatives are against abortion. I think the solution to this would be for them to not get an abortion. They use silly terminology like pro-abortion or pro-murder rather than correctly identifying a woman as pro-choice. Just because a woman is pro-choice doesn’t mean she’ll ever have an abortion. She merely wants to be able to have the choice to do what she needs to do concerning her own health.

7. Kill the bastards! Oddly enough, those who say they’re pro-life are for the death penalty, and they don’t think it’s very funny when you point out that they’re actually pro-fetus, not pro-life. Don’t try pointing out that states and countries without capital punishment have lower murder rates, either. They won’t listen.

Of course, there’s no need to take my opinion on any of this, especially if you enjoy being wrong. If you are on the conservative side of any of these arguments, I’d love to hear why you think the way you do, though. Quoting the Bible as a reason is not allowed; unless I can use the argument that the reason I think gay marriage should be allowed is because Thor came to me in a dream and said in his deep Thor voice “Gay is OK.”

Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer, artist and semi-professional cat wrangler. Feel free to drop her a note at rabirdsell@gmail.com.


Betty Crocker February 12, 2012 at 6:03 am

Just curious how this study would correlate to the test scores by race. Any ideas how differing races score on this? And if so, would that make Asians the most liberal of all races, and Africans the most conservative, assuming that the last 50 years of data collected on IQ tests is scientific and accurate?

Reply to this comment
Jon February 12, 2012 at 1:07 pm


I couldn’t agree with you more but not for the reasons that most people in this part of the world would. I know
that ‘patriarchal rule’ is the deep roots of all of these problems that we are facing today in this part of our world. The feminine way was hijacked so long ago by man that their pile of rubble is so deep that we are facing severe monumental problems as for us to attempt to surface from it. We need to think like the ‘big cats’ of the world and start with the ‘matriarchal concept.’ Otherwise this road to recovery will be longer than any of us will survive from that bad trip.

Reply to this comment
rick February 12, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Snarky little hate-filled rants like this by tiny-minded malcontents is one of the reason hardly anybody pays attention to the Freekly anymore. The Flyer passed you guys two years ago and never looked back.

Good luck “fighting the establishment”.

Reply to this comment
Rachel Birdsell February 23, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Maybe so, Rick, but you paid enough attention that you were compelled to leave a comment. I find that interesting. By the way, I had nary a lick of hate when I wrote this. Thanks for reading!

Thank you, Jon. I agree that a matriarchal rule would bring great improvements to our world. We need more men like you!

Reply to this comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. All fields are required.