Cafe Best Reserved For Post-Drink Munchies
By Rachel Birdsell
TFW Contributing Writer
1305 N. Garland Ave.
I’ve been in the process of moving for the past month. The other day, during a moving frenzy, I decided that breakfast was needed.
I wanted someplace that would be close and quick, but fast food was out of the question because I refuse to eat the stuff. So, I decided that grabbing a bite at Sunrise Café was in order.
By the way, I’ve discovered the trick about moving. Don’t do it.
Food for Thought
I had the eggs and sausage, which came with two fried eggs, two sausage patties, fried potatoes and toast. I ordered my eggs over medium and they were cooked exactly as I ordered them, but they had no flavor. How do you take the flavor out of an egg to the point where it has absolutely no taste? Maybe you can buy flavorless eggs for people who love the texture of eggs, but think they taste disgusting? Is there a special kind of flavorless egg-laying chicken?
The sausage had decent flavor but was extremely greasy. I know that at a hole-in-the-wall greasy spoon, greasiness is to be expected. However, I don’t want so much grease that had I used a napkin to absorb the grease, I could have wrung it out afterwards.
The only flavor the potatoes had were the taste of cooking oil. They could have also been cooked a little longer. They weren’t raw, but would have been much better had they been just a tad bit more tender. With some salt and Tabasco sauce, they were OK — but nothing that I’d look forward to eating again.
The toast was slathered with what tasted like fake butter and there aren’t too many things in the world I detest more than fake butter. Liver covered in fake butter would be one of the things I hate more. Ann Coulter covered in fake butter, feeding me fake butter-encrusted liver would be the stuff of nightmares for me. I seriously think that margarine should be banished from existence. Maybe we could have a Margarine Elimination Task Force. I’ll volunteer to sew all of the uniforms for it.
Atmosphere: 3 wood laminate sporks
The atmosphere at Sunrise is almost as bland as the food, but fortunately is a lot less greasy. Otherwise, you’d have diners sliding out of their chairs. On second thought, greasy chairs could be really entertaining.
Food: 2.5 clear sporks with three broken tines
The food wasn’t horrible. I didn’t gag when I ate it, but there was all the grease and the lack of flavor. If you’re drunk at 1 o’clock in the morning and need your fill of grease and carbs, Sunrise would be perfect for you. It might even be good for a hangover. But, if you’re looking for a good breakfast because you’re too lazy to cook a couple of eggs, you really should just muster the energy to cook at home.
Staff: 3 tin sporks that are somewhat discolored
My waitress was new so I cut her a lot of slack. She was really trying hard. I did notice that another diner had to go up to the counter and let them know he’d been sitting there for about 10 minutes without anyone waiting on him.
Dollars spent: My total was around $8 which wasn’t worth the food I received. Most of the breakfasts are between $6 and $9, so make sure you have at least that much left after your night of carousing and imbibing of strong drink and wine.
Chance of returning: I’m not a big drinker and only get intoxicated about once every two decades, so I don’t see any reason for me to go back to Sunrise Café.
If you know of a great eating place, drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll check it out and let you know what I think.