By Tony Macklin
The first gross is the money “G-Force” has made. It went to No. 1 at the box office, knocking off “Harry Potter.” “G-Force” is a whirlwind movie for family audiences, and a whirlwind cash machine for the studio.
The second gross is bathroom humor. Potty humor replaced Potter.
In his book “The Disney Version,” Richard Schickel wrote about Walt Disney’s anal fixation in his movies.
Since Walt Disney Pictures distributed and produced “G-Force” along with Jerry Bruckheimer, Disney is spinning happily on his bidet. “G-Force” is the best bottom-fixation movie of the year. Quote that, Disney Pictures!
“G-Force” has a line that may go down in movie history, along with “Here’s looking at you, kid,” and “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” To join them is the immortal line that the mice cry in “G-Force:” “Poop in his hand.” Others are: “Darwin, your butt’s on fire,” “I just saved your classy behind,” “Where’s the bathroom?” “I’m chasing my butt,” and on and on.
The last shot of the movie is the rear of a dancing rodent.
Along with the bottoms-up theme, “G-Force” is about a unit of guinea pigs that is out to save the world from global extermination.
The cast is impressive. The villain Saber is portrayed by Bill Nighy, one of my favorite actors. But this time out, Nighy is outacted by guinea pigs. Nighy can be a terrific actor, but he’s also willing to go with the flow. Nighy knows how to get into moneymaking movies. He was in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” series and the “Underworld” series.
The voices for the “G-Force” are Nicolas Cage (Spreckels), Sam Rockwell (Darwin), Tracy Morgan (Blaster), and Penelope Cruz (Juarez). They are joined in their vocal exploits by Jon Favreau (Hurley) and the irrepressible Steve Buscemi (Bucky). That’s a talented bunch of voices.
Zach Galifianakis portarys Ben, the human leader of the intrepid band.
“G-Force” is directed by Hoyt Yeatman, who also voices one of the giddy mice. His previous direction was a four-minute short in 1994, “Asteroid Adventure.” He keeps the action moving.
What “G-Force” lacks most is personality; the different rodents could use more definition. They’re pretty one-dimensional. But they’re active fur-balls, which should be enough for kids.
When I review movies, I ask myself two questions. First, “Does the movie do what it set out to do?” “G-Force” set out to be an entertaining family movie that makes money. On that basis it succeeds.
Second, “Was what it set out to be, worth doing the way they did it?” With “G-Force,” most critics say no; many audiences say yes. Their bottoms were in the seats. “G-Force” didn’t offend the critic in me. It appealed to the 8-year-old in me who likes fur-balls.
At the end of the movie I attended, a little girl’s voice piped up, and said to the screen, “Thank you big TV.” I’m not about to argue with her.