You know that the third Spider-Man had to be
bigger. The third movie in a franchise goes for broke.
And Spider-Man 3 is bigger, if not better. It’s
overdone, overlong, and overplotted. It’s all over the
This does not mean Spider-Man 3 is a bad movie;
it’s an entertaining one. But it is fundamentally
limited by its size and scope.
One of the great assets of the original Spider-Man
movie was that Peter Parker was naive and innocent. He
was startled and pleased when he was transformed — he
was a kid with super powers. The movie was genuine.
The second Spider-Man movie turned big and clunky
— the villain, Doc Ork, was part machine. The movie
became part machine; it was a good film, but labored.
Now the third Spider-Man movie morphs into
competing effects, and characters who won’t quit.
There are two Spideys, two Harrys, two Flint Markos,
and two Edward Brocks. Dualities asunder.
They play musical chairs with their characters.
He’s good; no, he’s bad; no, he’s good again. It makes
your head spin as though it’s caught in an addled web
— or just a very fickle script.
Spider-Man 3 has three villains for the price of
one. And these multiple villains keep coming back to
life ad nauseum.
The plot is a hodgepodge of revenge and identity
confusion. Spidey is now a celebrity, and it seems to
have gone to his head. He preens and brags. But
writer-director Sam Raimi does very little with this
promising theme. His satire is conventional.
It is fortunate that Raimi is back directing Spidey
for the third time, but Raimi has a dull streak.
The opening fifteen minutes of the movie are drab
and listless. This is no way to treat Spidey.
And Raimi’s handling of crowd scenes with mobs of
people applauding Spidey and his exploits is painfully
If it weren’t for J.K. Simmons, who chews the
scenery as the blustery editor of the New York Bugle,
there would be little if any comic relief. Spider-Man
should have a lilt to it, but that spirit is mostly
The cast is serviceable, but it often is smothered
by special effects. Welcome to the world of modern
movies. Thomas Haden Church and Topher Grace humanize
their villains when they aren’t ducking special
effects. Church eats many pecks of sand.
James Franco acts as though he is in some kind of
smiling contest as the erratic Harry. Bryce Dallas
Howard is winsome as Peter Parker’s classmate.
Dylan Baker is wasted as Peter’s teacher, as is
James Cromwell as the police chief. One can assume
much of their footage was sacrificed to more special
effects, and wound up on the cutting room floor,
amidst piles of left-over sand.
Kirsten Dunst keeps plugging away as Mary Jane
Watson. She’s now on Broadway — for one performance.
Then she mopes and pouts. Sometimes — especially with
her character — it seems as though the director has
thrown away some page that had motivation and
continuity. Mary Jane changes her mood like a cheap
The best moments of Spider-Man 3, of course, are
the human moments. The affecting climax is emotional.
But too much of the movie plays games with the plot.
It’s special-effects hopscotch, instead of a
convincing, coherent puzzle.
The best thing about Spider-Man 3 is that it is not